Sunday, 29 April 2018

The Wholesome-Party Struggle

Dungarees: ASOS, Jumper: Daisy Street ASOS, Backpack: Topshop (couple of years old), Shoes: ASOS

I’m a lot closer to thirty than I am to twenty and with that comes a lot of things.

I am getting aches and pains for no apparent reason, what’s that about? I’m also incredibly sleepy all of the time. And youths, youths are becoming unbelievably annoying. Were we really all once that annoying?

Anyway, another thing that has happened to me is that I am starting to really love having wholesome weekends with not a drop of alcohol in sight. 

I love doing nothing, I do it so well. It’s one of few skills I have in life. And I mean few skills. Why didn’t someone force me to pick up an instrument other than a recorder when I was a child. I blame the parents.

However, as much as I love it I also feel guilty when I don’t go out.

Now, I’m not exactly not going out. If anything this year has started with a ridiculous amount of late nights and horrific hangovers (another side effect of getting older, give me strength).

In the past month especially I was way more party than wholesome. I got drunk every single weekend with a few mid week sessions in-between.

And I thoroughly enjoyed every single booze filled moment.

I’m young. The 20s are apparently the best time of my life, at least until I’m in my 30s. I need to be carefree and reckless. Live impulsively, drink too much, eat too much, travel often, never say no, etcetera, etcetera. 

I should be out there making the most out of life every single day…but also, I kinda just want to do a spot of sitting.

Sitting down in my comfy clothes, under a blanket with dim lighting.

So basically I’m torn between having wholesome weekends and having party weekends. I really want to make sure I am getting the right balance between both. 

I don’t want to wake up one day thinking why didn’t I go out when I was young with no responsibilities???

But I also don’t want to keep wasting money on alcohol and dealing with hangxiety. Hangxiety is the actual worst, especially when it’s combined with the Sunday evening blues. Gives me palpitations just thinking about it.

So I guess what I’m saying in a rambling kind of way (it’s late at night while I'm writing this, so apologies if it doesn’t flow that well) is that I want to make sure I set aside a decent amount of time to good old fashioned wholesome fun. Sleepovers, walks in the woods and movie nights amongst other things.

But I will also say yes to as many things as possible. I am definitely one of those people who make plans and then completely regret it on the day, but I always end up having a lot of fun.

I want to be more wholesome but I’m not quite ready to put the party shoes away just yet…


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