Sunday, 24 September 2017

Be A Priority, Not An Option


Don’t make someone a priority when to them you’re just an option.

I first heard this quote some time ago and it is one that has stuck with me. It has been freeing, liberating and, quite frankly, time saving.

There have been many times in my life where I felt like I have made somebody else a priority. I have moved around plans to accommodate them, gone to them first if I’m planning something exciting or just made sure they were kept in the loop.

This is all completely fine and great when people reciprocate, but when you're constantly doing this for someone else and getting the opposite in return it can be a little frustrating.

Some people have persistently rearranged or cancelled plans at the last minute simply because they have a better option available.

When I was younger this use to make me so angry and quite sad. 

Now I have learnt to recognise when someone is a user and abuser and how to deal with them.

It’s hard because you can have a lot fun with these people when you do see them and you don’t want to cut them out of your life entirely, but you also don’t want to keep prioritising their life over your own.

So I have come up with a few ways to deal with them.

I will not rearrange my plans at the last minute unless they have a reasonable excuse. Even if all I end up doing instead is watching Netflix on my own, I will tell them I have other plans so that’s really the only day I can make it that week.

I will not hang around waiting for their decision. If they don’t message back in a reasonable time frame then I’m going to assume it’s a no and I’ll make other plans.

Finally I am less likely to initiate making plans with them in the first place, I will let them come to me instead. Then at east they’re more likely to stick to them!

Following these has made me less disappointed when they inevitably rearrange or cancel, and it gives me back a little control over my life.

Okay so I hope I didn’t come across as too bitter, maybe I am just a little.

But life is too short to deal with time wasters. Sometimes you got to prioritise yourself!
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